rant
Tired as hell. Just a typical Sunday. Basketball sunday. Must admit i’m a lil drunk from a few drinks. So many thoughts racing through my mind. Watching How I Met Your Mother and it’s making me a little sappy. The things that I hear from my friends kinda makes me wonder what if, not that I’m regretting stuff that I did but I’m just wondering how things would’ve turned out if things had been different. There’s so many things that i wanna change about myself and it just makes me wonder how would my friends look at me, or even if I would have the same friends. I wish I was more passionate about different things. Sometimes I wish my life was different. Sometimes I wish things had been different. Sometimes I wish I went through a lot and persevered and worked hard for everything. I’m not saying I was given all of what I asked but we got by. We are not rich but we’re not poor that we had to work for everything. Maybe if I was deprived of some of the basic stuff, I would’ve learned how to work hard for something. I need motivation. I don’t know where to look for it. Where would it come from? My peers? Some random sign? Something from my past? All I know is that most of the time I need a push. Maybe i should start more of being an asshole, not a total one but be more of an asshole. Asshols finish first. Nice guys don’t. I’d like to think that I am somewhat of a nice guy and that has not got me nowhere. To be honest, some of my hook-ups were because I was somewhat being an asshole. I certainly did not say I just wanted to hook up but it was pretty obvious. Maybe I should be like that a little more.
*end of rant*
