Self-infliction
Why do we sometimes torture ourselves? Why is it that when we see a glimmer of hope, we put ourselves forward thinking we could have it all? That little taste of happiness doesn’t mean you can have it all. Maybe it’s kind of my fault… expecting more that I can have. It’s human nature that when we experience some happiness, we tend to look for more.
I somewhat talked myself out of pursuing something because I feel that I would regret it in the future. I told myself I wouldn’t let myself get hurt but the way things turned out, it has been the opposite. I know now I’m happy sometimes, but I know this is not what I really want in the end. This will come to bite me in the future, yet I put myself in the same position every time the opportunity presents itself. It’s so easy to say no, but when it’s right then and there, it’s hard not to say yes.
How happy I am right now will for sure fail me when the time comes. What should I do? Just feel numb? Ignore it and just enjoy what I have right now? Or strongly say no and miss the chance of living life in the moment? Should I just look for happiness somewhere else?
